Catastrophe 6
by Persiana13
Summary: In this one, Persiana introduces Tigra to Barbara Minerva, the Cheetah. However, Catman appears and tries seducing his way into their hearts. Hilarity and pain ensues. One Shot. Takes place in the DC Persiana-verse.


**Catastrophe 6 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. _

One Shot 

Farrah, the white haired lioness heroine Persiana, was jumping and acrobatically flipping across rooftops high above the New York City skyline. With her were two of her friends; Greer Nelson, the were-tigress Tigra, and Barbara Minerva, the reformed villainous known as Cheetah. Farrah insisted that Tigra meet this archeologist, and she agreed. The three had stopped on one of the rooftops, taking a rest after running for miles across the rooftops. Cheetah bent over backwards, stretching like a cat,

"That was amazing! I had no idea it'd be so fun just to run like this!"

Tigra asked,

"You never free-ran like this?"  
The spotted feline shrugged,

"I was too busy trying to find a way to change back. This is the first time, though; I've been able to cut loose like this."  
Persiana did a playful handstand and laughed,

"You see? I told you it's fun to be the fuzzy chick!"

Greer shook her head,

"Can I ask you something, Barbara?"

Barbara nodded,

"Shoot."

"Why don't you wear clothes when you go out? Even I have some modesty."

Cheetah craned her neck around and noticed her spotted fur all over her back and tail. She turned back and shrugged,

"You know, I've never thought about it before. It's not like I'm exposed or anything."

Farrah laughed at that,

"Wonder Woman would disagree."

Cheetah was stunned,

"Oh, come on! I can't help if I got a body women would kill for!"

She shrugged,

"For what it's worth. I think something skin tight might help. You know, keep me acrobatic and conditioned."  
The lioness suggested,

"Something in black leather."

Unbeknownst to the three of them, Catman, the love struck feline villain, was observing them through a pair of binoculars. He grinned,

"Purrfect. My brides await."

Launching a grappling hook, he went on the line, as if flying. He shouted at the top of his lungs,

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

At this, Persiana's eyes twitched nervously and she shrieked at the top of her lungs,

"YOU MANIAC! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!"  
Catman continued,

"But, you and I are feline, and we must-."  
He smashed face first into a brick wall, not realizing just how long the line was. He moaned,

"Owie. Pain."  
Cheetah shook her head,

"What is this guy's problem?"

Tigra shrugged,

"Beats me. He has a thing for fuzzy feline chicks. He thinks they're all going to make kittens with him."

Farrah moaned,

"It started out with me. I mean, I'm hot and everything, but I definitely have better taste in men than…"

She noticed Catman getting up and smiling at her. The furry scientist shouted,

"FOR THE LAST TIME, LEAVE ME ALONE!! I AM NOT INTERESTED IN MATING WITH YOU, CATMAN!!"

Catman was not listening,

"But, you are a feline, as am I. We must mate!"  
Tigra shook her head,

"You seriously need to have you head examined. I mean, you've been harassing my sister for how long and you still don't quit?"

Catman flexed his muscles,

"Never! I shall mate with Persiana, and we will have kittens!"  
He grinned lecherously,

"Of course, you two are more than welcome to join us."

"I thought I heard the sounds of desperation."  
Lance, the red-eyed demonic inspired hero known as Diablos, was hovering above the ground. He had his arms folded as he said,

"Catman, you really should quit this. It's starting to become unhealthy."

Catman scowled,

"How dare you! Most women wouldn't want to have anything to do with you! Look at you! You've got freaky looking eyes!"

Persiana strutted up to Diablos,

"He's my boyfriend."

Cheetah grinned,

"How do you do it, Persiana? I mean, you get all the hunky specimens."

She prowled, eyeing Lance seductively,

"Hey, stud. Remember me from the bank?" (1)

Catman's jaw hit the floor. He shouted,

"Just what does he have that I, a real feline, don't?! How does he do it?!

Cheetah stuck her tongue out at Catman,

"Diablos doesn't chase after every furry butt he sees. Besides, his eyes are charming."

She trilled her tongue,

"Between you and me stud, I'm a two meal girl. Buy my dinner, and maybe, you'll end up buying breakfast for me too."

Farrah rolled her eyes,

"Cheetah, he's mine!"

Barbara pouted,

"Meanie."

Catman was furious. He reared a claw weapon and shouted,

"DIE!"

He took one swipe at Diablos. The red-eyed hero pushed the ferals away and got slashed in the face. He fell down, covering his face.

At this, all three feral felines jumped Catman, mauling and beating him senseless. The next few moments were the most excruciating for Catman,

"HELP! DON'T CUT THAT OFF!! I NEED THAT!!

"HOW DARE YOU!! THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!!"

"TAKE A HINT, CATMAN!! WE DON'T LIKE YOU!!"

"LEAVE MY LITTLE SISTER ALONE, YOU PSYCHO PERVERT!!"

"NO! DON'T USE MY INTESTINES LIKE THAT!!!"

"HEY, TIGRA!! LET'S REMOVE HIS APPENDIX WITH A RUSTED BUTTER KNIFE!!"

Diablos winced,

"Oh, you do not do that to a person's anatomy. That's just wrong."

**Later… **

Catman was ranting and raving in an ambulance. He shrieked,

"DON'T LET HIM TAKE AWAY MY MATES!! THEY WANT TO MAKE KITTENS WITH ME!! !!!!!!!!!!"

Tigra rolled her eyes,

"Hopefully, he'll learn to stay away this time."  
Persiana shrugged,

"Doubt it."

Cheetah purred,

"So, stud. I guess this is good-bye."

She kissed Lance on the cheek. Farrah looked at the spotted feline,

"Babs, he's mine!"

Barbara smirked,

"Easy, Farrah. I'm just telling him I approve."

She then added coyly,

"If you're ever in Boston, don't hesitate to look me up."

Farrah scowled,

"Babs!"

Cheetah smirked,

"You can bring her along too, if you want. I'm sure the three of us can…amuse ourselves for a little while."

She then jumped off the roof and began running again.

Tigra blinked,

"Did Cheetah just say she wanted to be in a three-way?"

Farrah moaned,

"Not in this lifetime!"  
She glared at her boyfriend,

"You wouldn't share your bed with another woman, would you?"  
Lance was shocked,

"No! I love you, Farrah. I mean that!"

Farrah just laughed,

"I know you do, silly. I was just teasing."  
She then said,

"When am I going to see you naked?"  
The red-eyed hero groaned; Farrah was totally shameless.

End of Catastrophe 6

(1) Cheetah first met Diablos in Adventures of Titans East


End file.
